POISE

a 35 year old pregnant chick

YUMMY MUMMY

HOPE

as the wind murmurs in my ear,

as the curtain crashes to my face,

all these are tiny pains,

compared to the ones i face.

will You let me by Your side,

i need You because i'm Your child,

will i ever face this earth,

my mind is boggling now so wild.

this is the facade in my life,

i see the masks that You've put on,

there are a thousand million lives,

but You've picked me to carry on.

dream a little dream,

i dreamt of You dear God,

You were easing my pain,

heaven is God.

the thought of You,

You all day,

my pains whiz,

themselves away.

You say my sweetheart,

you yet to live,

fulfill your purpose,

its one true gift.

for tonight shall be,
the day that all,

look at you,

and you will never fall.

i walk down an empty street,

searching for a sign of hope,

i see a Man and said hello,

could You help me for i can't find home.

come here child He says to me,

I feel enlightened because of He,

i walk to Him but find Him not,

perished was He into my soul.

as happy as a canary away from cage,

i walk the streets with new hope gained,

hello dear world here i come,

tomorrow shall never be the same again.

IN HEAVEN I BELIEVE

FUCK IT ALL

honestly speaking i am fucking sick and tired of everything that happens to occur in my life... i have become a couch potato... a fat ass bitch who has nothing but fats left in her brain and body... maybe its true after all that i am a fat creature... assignments just pile up but i fucking don't know what to do... i am afraid of the world and i have got to buckle up if i want to reach the expectations of my fucking group members... like what the fuck... i don't give a fuck but i actually do... it's just so hard to manage this earth... today morning i threw a plastic bag into the dustbin all because i was lazy to keep it... i was just being a self-centered selfish bitch not giving a fuck about the other 6 billion people on this earth... yugesh asked me to stop swearing and do i look like i give a fuck... seriously yugesh i can't just stop... if there were no swear words the problems that occur in my life would only seem worse... i am financially broke... i have no discipline to just cope with the pace of the world... my mom and dad are so fucking annoying but they are the best things in my life like honestly... sometimes i feel like home and most of the time i feel fucked... i am so fucking fat i can't wake up in the mornings to catch that bitch ass bus to college.... i want a fucking car to fuck to college... atleast i would be able to wake up at 7 like that instead of 6.... like serious shit what the fuck... i have been skipping classes like shit like how i am now blogging with may's lappy between luke and her in accounts class and i don't get a fuck the woman is blabbering in front... the only classes that make me feel happy and motivated is english and econs tutorial... we always underestimated ms jamie but come on man... she is the bomb... sometimes its just so hard for me okay... omg i don't even know if i am gonna have kids... life sucks that much right now.... i was having a blast last night at may's surprise but now i am just broken.... was it the fact that i slept sleeping on the north.... i always wake up when i sleep facing the evil north but sometimes it feels so darn good... god this fucking sucks over and over again.... i have to lose my weight... i just find it so hard to not eat.... i'm a fucking glutton... i am a fucking pimple face... i'm a fucking loser... everyone has so much of expectations of me.... they just assume that i can always put on a show for them and just keep smiling my ass off... dicky actually said he loved 3.2 cause its nice to see me smile... sze mun told me to be myself today cause i was putting on an emo face.... catherine of all people just stoppped with a hi and did not say more when she saw my face this morning... is life really that bad.... i don't think so.... my friends have been a blast and coming to think that i am gonna suffer another three years with some fucked degree... it makes me wanna puke... oh luke.... hahahaha... but i believe my friends would eventually save the day for me... however now i am in the mood to murder someone... and i want to be so mean... as mean as my fats that i want to piss my friends off and make them cry... this saddistic thought is haunting me and i am so gonna fuck someone today... just anyone who gets in the way.... the problem with me is i hold grudges... but i can never emo... jezreel always said that i can never emo well... and seriously i don't get why ms alina said of all people i must never be sad... yo what the fuck... this world is coming to an end... my exams coming in the end and all my truancy is going to back fire someday... this is terrible blogging... if ms alina were to mark my blog she would be like what the fuck you have no structure at all... okay now i am just trying to break some world record of longest emo blog ever... sick sick sick.... fuck fuck fuck.... i really don't understand... i keep challenging god.... like litereally... i was like if you get me to your temple by morning i will be vegetarian the whole day... if you don't i won't be vegetarian... and then i got a stomach pain last night and i was like what the fuck god... deal i will be vegetarian the whole day even if i don't come and see you... but i really wanted to see him but my mom keeps getting sick and saying no... she's old la okay its that part and parcel of life thing.... that fucking old age shit... why god.... eh what the fuck did i do to you now... and so i pack shit loads of bread and milo to college cause i am fucking vegetarian... how am i gonna cope with food for the next two weeks... i am going to cope but what the fuck... if i don't see you today god i am gonna fuck you real good... see what sort of shit i'm crapping... i really wanna to come up with some super remedy to solve this fucking shit.... no food.... starve.... bleed to death.... horror... bitch ass... fuck...

MY HOPE, MY GOD

MISSING YOU

and so you say he misses me but do you realize how much i miss

YOU

BLUE MOON

HEAVEN

YOU'RE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

battle the bitches

be bold

or simply die breathless

so much of esteem required to face the fake world

SIN

UP TO THE BRIM

its 20.10.2010 and i am under stress

i don't wanna take the fucking bus home but i have no car

i don't wanna bug my friends but i have no choice

i don't wanna be a fatty but i love food

i don't wanna be in hot soup for assignments but i always for the final second

i don't wanna love you but i still do

lets go fuck some buses... yeaaaaah

STRESS

GAY FAGS AND BITCHES

GAY FAG

promotes woman accessories

CONFIRM GAY FAG

ambassador of pink and a fugly kitty cat

THE BITCHES
in support of gay fags

OMG

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

and so i suck in accounts and so i got help from catherine and so my classmates are looking at me like a weirdo and so i scored a freaking 47.50 over 50.00 and so thats a 19/20 and so my classmates are looking at me like a weirdo again and so i am surprised myself and so i can say that mid sem was a blast.... as for english i screwed the essay eventhough i was one of the highest and got a 16/20... bla bla bla... mid sem still a blast... but...

ASSIGNMENTS ARE SURELY TAKING ME FOR A RIDE LIKE NO OTHER

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT...

NEVER SHUN THE ENEMY

BEING A FIGHTER

even if you have the biggest boobs in town, you still can't beat a woman with no boobs

AT ALL